4 Town Centre apartment design features you’ll love!

4 Town Centre apartment design features you’ll love!

Aviator Fields is pleased to offer prospective buyers a sneak-peek at four design features coming to apartments at the Aviator Fields Town Centre that we know you’re going to love.

Town Centres are a fantastic selling point for new communities; they are popular with consumers and allow us to show pretty renderings of stores and cafes that will never actually exist, but nobody is to know that since the Town Centre will naturally be the last thing to be built once we have squeezed every single cent out of the rest of the development.

In the spirit of this rite-of-passage for all major developers we have decided to offer up buyers an exclusive look at four major design features we are offering:

1: Smoking Balconies

Who doesn’t love to smoke, amirite? As big property developers we are almost as scrupulous as the big tobacco companies, so the synergy totally works here. On all of our apartments we are offering balconies because nothing looks more inviting than a facade full of balconies solely comprised of either off-brand air-conditioning compressors, storage of partially-assembled IKEA furniture, or residents having a gasp of their durry. In an additional bonus the cigarettes won’t be the only smoking going on; we are committed to using as much combustible cladding material as possible so that when Wendy on the fourth floor drops her cigarette butt over the edge you’re assured of a very warm night. Thanks, Wendy!

Of course, the Government is very concerned about the idea that their decisions might cause more residents in Point Cook to start smoking. Our suggestion was to slow down and use lubricant.

2: 1 Bedroom, 1 Bathroom, 12 Mattresses

Have you ever wished that you could cook yourself breakfast in bed without having to leave your warm doona? We sure have, which is why our apartments feature “ultra open-plan” living designs. Forget about measuring property in square metres; who sleeps in a square metre? Instead, we helpfully quote the space in our apartments in something far more practical; how many mattresses you can arrange in the available floor-space. Experience the adventure of rolling over in bed and banging your elbow on the oven door, or making love in the dark in the privacy underneath the ironing board. Luxury!

3: Enough Retail Space for 5 Nail Salons!

That’s how this whole deal works – five retail stores on the bottom and fifty apartments up-top. The retail part is key to the whole scam because it’s what lets us get away with housing density like this; because it’s an “activity centre” now (nb: activities may be limited to burn-outs and petty street crime).

In-line with Point Cook area retail management guidelines the only stores that will open in this facility will be five nail salons. Imagine the hours of entertainment you could have whilst arguing with your friends over which one to attend;

“Can anyone recommend a nail place that doesn’t charge an arm and a leg?” -Facebook

“My usual one is away. Let’s go to the good one”
“Which one is that?”
“The one that Sally goes to”
“Oh, that one? No, the woman there was too rough with me one time. How about the one I go to?”
“No, their massage chairs are uncomfortable, and you know what? I am not even sure they are real leather”
“What about the new one?”
“The one that plays those weird music videos on that really pixellated and over-coloured off-brand TV?”
“Do you think we will be able to get an appointment?”
“Fair enough. I’ll be back in an hour; I need to go to an ATM. All of the stores here are cash-only for some reason.”

4: A Car Park

That’s right, we have gone above and beyond here and opted to provide a parking space out the front of the buildings. Sure, we know that there’s no public transport and literally nothing you need within even the most generous of walking distances, but we feel this was the least we could do for you. We expect it to be occupied by an abandoned (and probably wheel-clamped) car by the end of the first week, which officially makes the vehicle a sculpture and allows us to tell you that we’re also providing opportunities for local piss artists.